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I write novels, eat dark chocolate, raise three children, love my husband, scrub toilets, ignore the laundry, and love a good story, but hardly ever in that order.



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Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Jeggings and Other Horrors

Please, please help me out here.

Why the jeggings?
Try not to concentrate on the fact that this particular woman hasn't eaten since half-way through the Clinton administration and focus instead on my confusion. Why skin-tight jeans that aren't jeans, with cuffs that squeeze all the blood out of one's ankles?

I have man-calves. There. I said it. I am the girl who cannot find stylish leather boots that zip because that zipper will end up slicing into my man-calf. Instead I have to find boots made from scary, synthetic materials that are stretchy and smell funny because they were made in a laboratory in Guam. I am the girl who should have pursued gymnastics or professional calf raising competitions because my man-calves would LITERALLY crush the competition.
So leggings/jeggings are full-fledged danger zone for me. Can I get an amen out there? Or are you all the people who have lovely calves and delicate ankles? I have serious delicate-ankle-envy. And you should be a little scared of my anger because people with huge calves can be vicious when provoked.

Please tell me I'm not the only one. Jeggings be gone?


  1. Um ... yes. Jeggings be gone. I'm actually in favor of losing leggings all together except for children. They just never work for me. I have man-calves, too. I had to buy boots 2 full sizes larger than what I typically wear just so that they didn't squeeze the life out of my legs. Sad. So sad.

  2. I am with you on the man calves! I can't find cute boots to save my life! Although...anything stretchy and acceptable to wear in a social setting....uh, I might have to say YES PLEASE! :)

  3. Amen!! It may be in our genes, I also have man calves. More accurately, I have fat man legs with industrial strength knees. I am thankful that my legs have carried me with ease through many years, up a few mountains and to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. BTW, jeggings are of the devil, just sayin...

  4. I actually had the circumference of my calves measured the other day in a doctor's office...faced with the horrifying hairy stubble and indentations left by by my socks,I'm desperately trying to explain the reason for their largeness is the cycle class I attend at the gym...to which he exclaims with relief, "well they are the same size, which is good news." Coming from a man who has neither been forced into jeggings or zip-up boots. (insert eye-roll). A hearty NO to skin-tight pants!

    1. You. Are. Hilarious. Love the sock indentation. Doctor's visits are decidedly horrifying, indentations included.

      Fist bump, Hearty Calf Circumference Sister!

  5. leggings. aren't. pants. even when disguised as denim. that is how i feel. i will wear leggings under skirts, and happily, for they are comfy and they warm me as i stand outside for recess duty. but i will never ever wear them as pants.

  6. mka, I love the passion. And I agree with the comfort level, though I still have concerns about my ankles.

    Love the photo, too. Was this photo taken in reaction to this post? ;) I share your ire.


  7. My calves, though manly, are the least of my problems with the jeggings. My issue lies a bit farther north in the hip/buttock region. Still don't get the reason for the curve hugging fashion, especially on dudes.

  8. Jeggings are cute on the four and under crowd. That's it. Period

  9. I love you! When I was much younger and cared about such things, I could NEVER find cute boots. I thought there was something WRONG with me. I thought my legs were UGLY. (Honestly, I thought *I* was ugly but that's another story altogether.) No joke: until I read this post I thought I was the only person who couldn't ever wear cute boots.