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I write novels, eat dark chocolate, raise three children, love my husband, scrub toilets, ignore the laundry, and love a good story, but hardly ever in that order.

OPERATION BONNET

STRETCH MARKS

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ACT TWO

BOTTOM LINE

BALANCING ACT

Friday, February 19, 2016

You Take Care Now


I had my first manicure last week.

Actually, it wasn't a real manicure. It was a fake one, lasting only about ten minutes. And it was free. And I was in an airport lounge where the "manicurist" might also have been the "janitor." I don't know. I didn't ask. Because it was FANTASTIC.

My nails looked really lovely and girly for about three days. Now they look like this.
But for a moment, they were not chipped. They were all grown-up and pretty, which was a great distraction from my wrinkly, dry mom hands. (**WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?? WHEN DID MY HANDS BECOME MOM HANDS?? EXPLAIN THIS TO ME!!)

I'm not great about doing girly things, like keeping up on hair and make-up trends or getting my nails done. I'm the kind of girl who tends to find an eyeliner in, say, 1999, and then stick with it. Same with eye shadow. I might have gotten a wee bit hysterical one time with the Estée Lauder woman when she said my sparkly, neutral eye shadow creme base had been discontinued. I remember her telling me that the pitch and intensity of my voice was inappropriate for a department store. WhatEVER. Stop discontinuing my make-up and I'll give you appropriate!
So last week, when the manicurist/janitor stopped clucking about how unmoisturized and generally disgusting my mom hands were and started massaging them, I think I purred. (Did you know they do that?! They massage your hands!) I started to slump in my chair, eyes closed, and a little puddle of drool accumulated at the corner of my mouth.

The whole, glorious experience reminded me of a day in 2001 when I got my one and only facial. A faint memory of total bliss peeked through and I'm sitting here now, wondering why I don't do these kinds of self-care things more often. Because here is my most urgent of questions: Is my face going the way of my mom hands?! Are my cheeks and forehead dry and hang-nailed and generally neglected? Especially since some heartless make-up executive (we'll call him The Man) discontinued my eye sparkle?!

I'm inching toward an inappropriate volume and pitch. I'm off to wring my hands... but only after applying a healthy amount of moisturizer. 


4 comments:

  1. I think I have had three manicures ever, my wedding day being my first. They are lovely but my favorite are pedicures. I have dry mom hands. Now I'm worried about my mom face!

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    1. You do not have mom hands or face. You are young and spry. Trust me and believe it. Now go ski. XOXO.

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  2. Two manicures in my life. One before my wedding and one before my friend, Rachel's, wedding. Mom hands. Mom face. The struggle is real. Have you read For The Love yet? If not, stop and go read the On Turning 40 chapter right now. Now. Now. As in you'd better have the book in your hands right now.

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    1. I have not yet read it! I promise it's on the list and nearing the top! I'm going to need so, so many years to read all the books on my list...Judging by the rapid deterioration of my hands, chance of completion is not looking good.

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