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I write novels, eat dark chocolate, raise three children, love my husband, scrub toilets, ignore the laundry, and love a good story, but hardly ever in that order.



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Thursday, June 13, 2013

8 Things I Need to Say To Single Moms

1. I don't know how you do it. Really. I suspect you rely heavily on caffeine, liquor, and/or steroids, but perhaps I'm projecting here with what kind of medicinal support _I_ would need.
2. Your kids might not say it every day or even once a year, but you're doing right by loving them and fighting for them. Without a partner in the house to force them to say compliments, they might forget. Please remember: You're doing good work at a very tough job.

3. Alone time is awesome. Get you some.

4. I see you. I've been thinking about you a lot lately and have been saddened to realize how invisible you can become, particularly at church. Sunday school classes are built for couples. I suppose you could sneak into the youth group but I feel that would be awkward. We've all done acne and prom once, and that was enough. But I want you to know I see you. I want to know you. Be pushy in case I haven't introduced myself. And then I can take over with enough pushiness for the two of us.

5. In case you need to ask and your six-year-old isn't much help in the minutes before rushing out the door in the morning: No, your butt does not look big in those jeans.

6. I'll bet you're tired. Can I take your kids for an afternoon every now and then so you can recharge? They might only eat junk food and watch Disney princess movies, but I'll treat your children like my own. Ahem. Proceed at your own risk.

7.If I try to set you up on a date with my single guy friend, please don't take offense. I'm not trying to run your life and I'm not saying you're not doing a great job on your own. I just want you to laugh more and to share a heavy burden with another set of hands and shoulders. Plus, he has a cute rear and can dance. Is one night so bad?
8. God knows where you are. He has not turned His face from you. You can shout and snarl and whine to Him and He can take it. Trust me because I've tried all those things and more. His love for you is bottomless, wide, tall, and stubborn. Trust me because I've had to learn those adjectives in real time, real life. He knows your name and He likes you.

I'm sorry that I'm so late in telling you all this. I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to put to words what I think about you. You are fighting a noble battle, sister. Press on and know I think you rock it. 


  1. I dig your heart, friend. :)

  2. As a single mom - thank you for noticing us! Really, it's easy to feel overlooked and lost in the shuffle. The encouragement is a huge gift!

    1. Much love to you, Missy! I applaud your hard and often unsung work. And I hope you are able to breathe deeply today. I find a babysitter and a pedi can help with this. ;)

      Happy summer, mama!


  3. beautifully said and a good reminder for us all....