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I write novels, eat dark chocolate, raise three children, love my husband, scrub toilets, ignore the laundry, and love a good story, but hardly ever in that order.



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Thursday, May 2, 2013

Winner...and Scary Woman

And the winner of the very cute 31 Bits bracelet that I have been tempted to steal is.....
Joanne Schneider Ripple! 

Congrats to Miss Joanne, and may she wear her new bracelet with joy and only a little bit of guilt that she didn't just let me keep it.

I am happy for Joanne. It's good to know there is a winner in my immediate circle because I, for one, feel like a big fat loser. It's freezing here today. FREE-ZING. We're talking snow, people. It's not supposed to stick and the forecast says 70s next week, but still. This weather is not good for self-esteem. Or personal warmth. Or happy thoughts toward our fellow humans.

I am choosing to believe this weather caused the horrifying incident I witnessed yesterday afternoon. The kids and I were stopped at a red light next to an elementary school that had just let out for the afternoon. Children were streaming across the streets, helped by a kindly crossing guard with white hair. Three cheers for kindly crossing guards!
HOWEVER. When the light changed and we were about to pull forward, an angry, bitter woman with an unfortunate perm CHARGED through the intersection, despite her red light, and nearly mowed over five children who were crossing the street. The poor kids screamed and literally jumped out of her way. She braked hard inches in front of them and continued looking irritated. 

I most certainly did feel my blood pressure rise to dangerous heights and I most certainly did call the police and report her license number, which Ana, in her number-savant way, was reciting from the back seat. Thea said she hopes the policeman catches that woman and tells her she was very naughty before locking her in a jail forever and ever.

Ahem. We're working on grace.

Road rage lives on, people. Snow and "ice pellets" (THE ACTUAL WORDS I READ IN TODAY'S FORECAST) do not help. But running over school children seems a bit extreme as a response to the sadness in our lives.

I, for one, feel so much better after hashing this out with you. Anyone else need to vent about drivers who want to kill people? This is a safe place. Much safer, in fact, than the corner of 50th and Woodland Avenue...
My name is Kim and I am a very good tattler. My eye's on you, Scary Perm.


  1. "My eye's on you scary perm!"


  2. Ha! I would hunt her down and do things to her that are acceptable in Wyoming. Wow. Grace runs in the fam. And btw I get to see your pretty face mananaaaaaaaaa! Woooopppp!

  3. Good for you! Citizen's arrest!!
    I won't even tell you the weather we're having here in balmy Indiana or mention that my tulips are gloriously blooming...that would be unkind. Spring will come to Iowa soon, or maybe you'll just go straight to summer.

    1. Cousin Marge,
      First, God bless Barney Fife.
      Second, the true sadness is that MY tulips are also gloriously blooming. They're just covered in snow and shivering. It was 80 degrees here for the first part of the week. I spread 200 bags of mulch. And now everything, including the mulch spreader herself, is shivering and irritable.
      Weirdo weather. Iowa has its many merits, but "great schools" and "short commute" seem to fade in their glory when we get MAY SNOW.

  4. Oh, no! Now I feel (slightly) bad for winning! Maybe you need to buy yourself one as a "cheer up" purchase? ;-) Thank you, though!

    Oh, and I'm totally feelin' ya on the weather. We just moved to Kansas from Texas, and the weather is KILLING me. 83 yesterday, 33 today, snow tomorrow. I am SO DONE WITH THIS! Ahem. We're all working on grace...

  5. Is there a 12-step program for policing others? If so, let me know, as I do the same (although I've never remembered a license number long enough to actually report someone, not having a number savant in my family). Nice to be able to laugh about it though (yes, at you and with you!). Good luck with the snow-- glad I'm outta there!