Kindle Lovin'

Spring is in the air, thanks be to God! Every year, I worry I might not make it. At least without crying on the kitchen floor and asking my children to fend for themselves because I have to get outside, even if there is a blizzard warning.

But then spring arrives, I see daffodils peeking out of our garden, and I realize the worst has passed. And I didn't even have to resort to burning all our furniture to survive!



(I searched for an image of a bonfire and got this. I feel the heat, don't you?)

So in celebration of spring and because I like giving stuff away to make you buy my book (subtle), I hereby inaugurate the Operation Bonnet Kindle Giveaway. Here's the scoop:

1. Review Operation Bonnet on Amazon.com.
2. Send an e-mail to KimberlyStuartGiveaway@gmail.com with a link to your review.
3. Be automatically entered to win a Kindle!

It's that easy! The only catch is that I'm gunning for 200 reviews by June 1. If we're close, I'll still draw for the Kindle. If not, I'll draw for something less exciting, like a gardening trowel. Or a decorative troll.

Include your mailing address in the e-mail and we'll send you a small token of Operation Bonnet love, just for entering.

I see no losers here. And I also see my tulips coming up! Woop woop! We made it, friends!



p.s. How to post a comment on Amazon (you must have purchased something from them in the past):

~Go here to the Operation Bonnet Amazon page.
~Scroll down to the section called "Customer Reviews." Click on the box to the right that says "Create your own review."
~Sign in with your e-mail address and the password you used when buying from Amazon before.
~Review away! And thank you!

Quite Right

Is it weird that I've been thinking a lot about British people?

It must be the accent. I mean, seriously. I dare any woman within earshot to deny the power of a British accent. I'm not one to swoon (though I saw Michael Buble in concert a few years back and I came VERY CLOSE to swooning), but what is up with the accent effect?

Take Colin Firth, for example. You know him, right? The original Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice (pause for a moment of respect, please), the affable and sweetly awkward guy in Love Actually, the stuttering king in The King's Speech...I have a friend, Murl, who absolutely goes weak in the knees if I say the words "Colin. Firth." Down she goes, all fluttery and breathless.



Here's a man who is not particularly gorgeous. In fact, if you saw him on the street (and he wasn't wearing an ascot), you might think "Accountant." Or "Botanist." Or "Was that man wearing Rockports?" Certainly not "Oscar-winning actor who makes women faint when he speaks."

But I do get all mushy and nostalgic and sigh-y when I watch Colin and any number of his cohorts. Masterpiece Classic on PBS kills me. I mean it. I just finished watching the whole of Downton Abbey and now I'll probably have to move to England. (Do they have possums there?) It doesn't seem to bother me that I know English people in 2011 no longer hang out all day in Jane Austen-ish clothes and worry about marrying beneath their class if only for the sake of love.



I've been to England, in fact, and I remember a lot of disappointing food and a healthy amount of rainfall. But I still will need to relocate because even fish and chips taste good if Colin Firth is sharing them with you.

Marc is presently rolling his Norwegian eyes. He's awfully lovely too, I must point out. And if he started speaking in a British accent, I'd be more worried than smitten. (Anyone remember when Madonna tried that for awhile? EXACTLY.) Of course, if I started retiring to the parlor and curtseying, he might be a bit concerned as well.

All right, so what's your guilty pleasure? If not people in enormous, drafty houses, wearing petticoats and fretting about balls, what, then? Amish romances? Happy Days reruns? Funyuns? Hit me, people. I'm ready. I shan't judge.

No sign of Da Poss.

I'm very grateful to the many folks who e-mailed me with lots of helpful solutions, my favorite of which included an undercover offer to "take care of" Da Poss, but only if I kept this person's identity a secret. Betcha didn't know there's a Poss Mafia around here, did you?


Image courtesy of guardian.co.uk

I've been on the look-out, believe me. Nothing. Not a single sighting. I'm trying to temper my riotous hope that Da Poss has met his maker, or at least as moved to a different county. Marc is irritatingly calm about Da Poss and his whereabouts. Of course, this is what happened the last time Marc went to capture the wildlife in our backyard: Marc went after him with a broom (!) and Chuckles went right between the legs and evaded being captured. Just watch:



Sorry about the cackle. I couldn't contain myself.

So when Jamie from Texas posted that Marc should strap on his gun and take care of business, I'm sure you'll understand why both he and I CHORTLED at the thought. I chortled longer than he did.

Even with the possibility that Da Poss has moved on, the kids and I are still a little skittish. Today when I walked outside to the recycling bin, Mitch called after me, "Mom, watch out for Da Poss!" That's my boy. A healthy fear of rodents and vermin.

Thanks for all your support, friends. There's nothing like facing threats to one's wellbeing with a solid group of supporters standing by, ready to shoot. I mean, help.

Thanks, too, for heading to stores and online to buy Operation Bonnet. I've received lots of fantastic photos from folks all over the country, showing the book on shelves in Barnes and Noble, indies, Wal-Mart and Sam's Club. The first two months of a book's life are critical, and the healthier the sales initially, the better. So thank you, thank you, dear readers, for buying and blabbing about it to anyone who will listen.

To that end, I have to apologize if you've encountered either of my parents in the last few weeks. They are dogged in their publicity for this book. It's fantastic and also a bit scary. Today my mom told me she bought all the copies at Wal-Mart. Um, thanks, Mom, but we want people outside the blood relation to find the book, too, okay? She seemed unimpressed with my logic. My dad was in the background, fully irritated that he went to buy more copies of Operation Bonnet and Barnes & Noble didn't have the TEN he needed.

I love them. It is such a sweet gift to have parents who believe their daughter is so much more amazing than she is.

Of course, I haven't told them I'm going to start packing heat for backyard defense. I hope they'll understand.

Mutual of Omaha

Remember Chuckles?

Well, he has a cousin.



Don't be impressed with the cute, imploring look. Here's a side view that betrays his RAT origins:



Seriously, people. I am NOT running a wildlife refuge here. A possum! (I believe the correct term is "opossum," but does anyone actually say that? Maybe British people?) It comes and goes at will, during the day, from its cozy home under our deck. First, aren't they supposed to be nocturnal? And second, does anyone have a trap? Or a gun? (Sorry, Aunt Rachel, our family's Defender of Animals.)

Thea watched me prance around, moaning and saying things like, "Eeeewww! Gross!" She now calls our vermin "Da Poss," as in, "Mom, Da Poss is cweepy."

I couldn't agree more.

The Animal Control people (an interesting lot) assured me I would rather have a possum than a raccoon or a woodchuck. Um, is this a multiple choice test? If so, I choose BUNNY. Or KITTY. Or LADYBUG. They also said I could sprinkle fox urine around the perimeter of the deck. Mmmm. That will smell awesome just as spring breaks! Tulips and fox urine! My favorite springtime aromas!

What do I do, dear readers? Do I wait and hope Da Poss heads to greener decks when the weather warms? Do I trap it (eeewwww)? Do we scare it off with loud singing and harmonica playing?

The Animal Control man said these creatures will play dead ("play possum," he said with a weighted pause) for hours. HOURS. But just to remind you, Da Poss is very much alive. Here's an action shot to prove it.

Wowza!

Holy catfish, do we get excited about a new book! When I say "we" in reference to my nuclear family, I mean Marc and I. The kids are completely over the entire publishing business and would prefer that we watch a movie. Mitch said to me today, "Mom, that Operation Bonnet book has been out FOREVER." Well, one week. But close enough.



The grand book launch was so much fun, I'm still sleeping it off. We were hoping for a good crowd, but honestly, I was cautious in my optimism. Iowa winters can weary a person and the high Monday was somewhere near Depressing and Deathly with a Side of Frostbite. Instead of duct taping themselves to space heaters, however, my dear, beloved, loyal readers came out in full force and we filled the room! I heard the final count was 150, which is insane for a literary event. Thank you, thank you, thank you for coming out to support me. I could cry the Cat Cry right now, if I thought about it too much.



One of the sweetest moments for me was when my grandma came through the line for a signed copy. She waited in line to the very last, and she's a sassy 88 years old. She purchased the final copy, which is dear, since blood relation are entitled to complimentary literature.



I have a horrible feeling I'll be nothing but cuss words and age spots when I'm 88, but my grandma radiates joy, love for Jesus, and a readiness to bungy jump. I adore her and am so grateful she made the long trip from Oklahoma to celebrate with us.

I got my very first manicure. Go red or go home.




And then there were the cupcakes.


My friend, Catherine Drummond, is the Cupcake Queen and she brought along amazing desserts for all. I did hear happy, audible sighing from her corner of the room. Many have asked, so here is her contact info: thecakegirl2010@gmail.com. Della Dulce Bakery also has a Facebook page. You'll probably want to contact them and order a dozen cupcakes today. Thanks again, dear Cat and Leah, the Della Dulce team.

Thanks for a great night, everybody. Can I call you again next time?

Release Day

Operation Bonnet releases today.



I'm very excited, pretty tired, but mostly grateful. Who gets to have this job?! I make up pretend people and then write about them and you all read them and say kind things to me.

I am typically a chatty person. Ahem. But today I'm nearly speechless. Not totally speechless, for who, then, would boss around all these people in my house? But from my spot in my favorite chair, I'm watching the snow fall and the wind blow and I feel gratitude. I'm reminded of King David when he was getting ready to build the temple. He blessed God in full view of the entire congregation (curious, since God functions quite fine without our blessing Him, and yet He seems to love His people loving Him back).

This is what David says: "But me---who am I, and who are my peeps (paraphrase), that we should presume to be giving something to you? Everything comes from you; all we're doing is giving back what we've been given from your generous hand."

Exactly. So take my paltry words, God. Do what You want, please, and make my heart malleable in Your hands.

Thanks for giving me such a great job.

kim

p.s. In case I don't stop by here again beforehand, please stop by the Launch Par-Tay at the downtown Des Moines Central Library, Monday evening, February 7, from 6:30 to 8ish. There will be cupcakes and fantabulous coffee from Natural Thirst. We will laugh. This will NOT, I repeat, NOT be a stuffy literary event. I mean, you should probably leave your dog collar and house music at home, but we will still have a good time. Hope to see you there.

Step Right Up!

We have three winners! Allison O., Jenna V., and Brenda S. have each one a petite copy of Act Two! Congrats, girls. May this small win bring a bit of comfort in this bleak midwinter.

Listen, people, I love this kind of thing. So stay tuned. I'm going to be giving away stuff pretty darn often around here. Get ready!

I hope the sun shines wherever you are today. (Can you believe how long humans can live with gray skies? It's astounding.)

Before I go, I wanted you to see this. It's my brand-spanking-new trailer for Operation Bonnet and it's fantastic. The girl singing is Lauren Hillman, the composer is my dear friend, Paul, and they're both fantastic too.

Just click on the cute movie camera on the bottom of my HOME PAGE.

Enjoy and stay warm!